Goofball Of The Month: Stephen Harper

This month's goofball in none other then the Prime Minister of Canada, Stephen Harper. Man it just gets easier to pick this guy as the days go by. The reasons this month are;

#1. Fighting with the national media... It's not going to work Stevie. Even if you whine the media is anti-conservative. Sure there are some journalists who are more biased towards the left. But there are just as many that are biased towards the right. But trying your Bush-style media tactics is literally stupid and it won't fly in Canada. If you keep this up, the rest of Canada will just be waiting for the Liberals to get their shit together. I don't even care that you're up in the polls right now. It won't last.

#2. Breaking an election promise by suggesting the new equalization program will include natural resource revenue...Stevie, meet our man from Alberta. Ralph "lick my ballz Ottawa" Klein. Alberta's suppose to be your home base Stevie. But if all you're trying to do is gain brownie pionts in Ontario and Quebec. You're done in for. If this goes through and the Liberals get their shit together. I wouldn't be suprised if their are a few more red seats in Alberta after the election. If this continue, it won't last.

Congratulations Prime Minister Stephen Harper. You're the Goofball of the Month for March 2006.

P.S. nice hat!

;)

Goofball Of The Month (April): Dr. Clawmonkey

I fucking forgot about the goofball of the month for April 2006. So it has to be Dr. Clawmonkey, what a loser!
This guy has this post thing (on his blog) every month to highlight a specific goofball(s). But, 4 months in and he fucking forgets. When asked about this gaff he said;

"I apologize for this unfortunate event. (damn monkey) I'll take the necessary steps to reach our goal of 1 goofball every month and it will be on time. We'll do a follow up with the brains of the operation. To get this problem corrected. Thank You."

Well there you have it. The goofball for the month of April. Only a week late. Only 3 weeks til the end of May, the clocks ticking. Will Dr. Clawmonkey fulfill his commitment. You'll have to check back to find out.

Congratulations Dr.Clawmonkey, you're the goofball of the Month for April 2006!

Where all those taxes go

OTTAWA -- After all those billions of dollars of head-spinning election promises (frankly, we lost track), the Conservatives present their first federal budget today, detailing exactly how they plan to put our money where their mouths are.
Listening to all the political hype and hoopla over the past few months, ordinary Canadians might be excused for thinking that Stephen Harper is about to radically rewrite the way the feds will spend almost $200 billion of our money this year.
Maybe next time. Truth is, short of blowing up entire departments and programs (and that's not likely in a minority parliament) even the most grandiose of Conservative measures expected in today's budget -- for example, the 1% reduction in the GST -- won't make more than a relative dent in overall government spending.
For instance, the largest single expense for taxpayers is interest on the national debt. That works out to your paying $170 on each $1,000 of taxes pulled from your paycheques and family pocketbook.
(Put another way, if you are paying $10,000 a year in income taxes, GST and other federal levies, you will be paying $1,700 of that just in interest on the debt.)
By contrast, even Harper's rich plan to give families with pre-school children $1,200 a year per tot isn't such a crushing expense in the overall scheme of things, costing each taxpayer about $22 per $1,000 of taxes paid.
Here are some of the government's other big-ticket items, most of which won't likely change in any huge way from last year's Liberal budget to the one being presented today by the Conservatives. Again, the amounts shown are what you will pay from each $1,000 of your tax bill. (Warning: Some nausea may occur.)
- The second-largest spending item in the federal budget is old age pensions and support for poor seniors: $140.
- Federal departments and agencies such as Justice (home of the infamous money-eating gun registry); Public Works (home of AdScam), Human Resources Development (home of the billion-dollar boondoggle) and Industry (home of the great technology partnership swindles): $115.
- Employment Insurance payments (not premiums), including job-training programs and various parental and compassionate leave schemes: $75.
- Direct transfers of federal cash to the provinces for spending on health care: $75.
- National Defence: $70.
- Equalization payments intended to spread the national wealth around from richer provinces to the so-called have-not provinces and territories: $65.
- Payments under the Canada Child Tax Benefit and the GST credit, both for lower-income families: $60.
- Various forms of federal support for aboriginals: $45.
- Transfers to the provinces for post-secondary education, social assistance and other related programs: $40.
- Miscellaneous giveaways to the provinces for things such as reducing medical wait times, and Paul Martin's special equalization deal for Newfoundland: $30.
- National safety and security, including the costs of running the RCMP, the federal prison system, and policing international borders: $25.
- The cost of the Canada Revenue Agency squeezing hard-working folk for all the money to pay for all of the above: $20.
- Foreign aid and other international assistance: $18.
- Federal handouts to Bombardier (every year guaranteed) and other corporate welfare programs, including regional dole schemes: $18.
- All spending on Parliament, including salaries for MPs, senators and staff, to oversee the public purse on behalf of beleaguered taxpayers: $2.38.
As always, you get what you pay for.

By GREG WESTON

4 Canadian Soldiers Killed

KANDAHAR, Afghanistan (CP) - Four Canadian soldiers were killed Saturday in a roadside bomb explosion in southern Afghanistan, military officials said.
The soldiers' G-Wagon, part of an armoured convoy, was struck by an improvised explosive device (IED).
Three of the soldiers died at the scene, in Shah Wali Kot district of the Kandahar province, 70 kilometres north of Kandahar. A fourth was transported to a Kandahar airfield hospital but died a short time later.
The attack happened at about 7:30 a.m. local time.
The troops were in the region "to establish the legitimate authority of the Afghan government in the area," said Brig.-Gen. David Fraser, commander of Combined Task Force Aegis.

Two of the soldiers were reservists.
The military identified three of the soldiers as Cpl. Matthew Dinning of Richmond Hill, stationed in Petawawa, Ont., Bombadier Myles Mansell of Victoria and Lieut. William Turner, born in Toronto and stationed in Edmonton.
The name of the fourth soldier was not released at the request of his family.

"While we are saddened by their loss, we will not forget them or their sacrifice," said Fraser, calling the soldiers "outstanding Canadians" who believed in what they were doing in Afghanistan.
"We will redouble our efforts in Southern Afghanistan in their memory."
Immediately after the attack, the commanding officer of Alpha company, first battalion of the Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry, led a heavily armed patrol to Gumbad in a show of force meant to demonstrate to the Afghans and the Taliban that the Canadians were not intimidated despite the carnage.
There was no immediate claim of responsibility for the attack, but Canadian military officials blamed Taliban militants.
"We are pretty confident that it was the Taliban and we knew coming in here that they would be targeting us," Maj. Quentin Innis said.

Other military officials met with village elders to try to glean any information he could about who was responsible for the attack.
An investigation has been launched into the attack, said Canadian military spokesman Lieut. Mark MacIntyre. He said no arrests have been made.
At least 16 Canadians have been killed in Afghanistan since 2002.
On March 29, a Canadian machine-gunner and a U.S. National Guard medic were killed in a firefight that lasted for hours in Sangin.
The casualties occurred as the Taliban - in a rare display of conventional military tactics - tried to overrun a remote sandspit of an outpost.
Saturday's bloody assault comes in the wake of a Taliban warning of accelerated attacks against Canadians. A spokesman for the outlawed fundamentalist former government told The Canadian Press this month that the Taliban was counting on the increased casualties triggering a clamour among voters to withdraw Canadian soldiers.
Prime Minister Stephen Harper, who made a surprise visit to Afghanistan his first overseas trip last month, has insisted that Canada will not "cut and run" on its commitment to the country's fledgling democracy.
A recent poll suggested the Canadian public is evenly divided on the presence of its troops in Afghanistan.
Afghan president, Hamid Karzai barely has control beyond his heavily fortified compound. His government would not exist if it weren't being propped up at the point of bayonets fixed on foreign rifles.
Most of Canada's 2,300 troops in Afghanistan are based in Kandahar, where they have taken over security from U.S. forces.
Canadian soldiers were supposed to be part of a NATO-led provincial reconstruction team in Afghanistan's lawless south when they went in last August.
But NATO won't take over command of the reconstruction effort for a few months.
Canadian soldiers are now co-ordinating their efforts with the U.S.-led coalition in its war against terror.
© The Canadian Press, 2006

Picture at top: A Mercedes G-Wagon at Kabul International Airport, 2004. This is the type of vehicle which was involved in roadside bomb explosion in southern Afghanistan, Saturday. (CPimages/Les Perreaux)

It's Wacky, Wild, Stuff.

(CP) - A quiet Cape Breton dishwasher suspected of killing two Maine sex offenders had visited an online registry that listed their names and addresses, a U.S. official said Monday.
Stephen McCausland, a spokesman for the Maine Department of Public Safety, said the two victims were among 34 names that Stephen Marshall, 20, of North Sydney, N.S., had looked up on the state website.
"The events of the weekend will obviously be reviewed, but there are no plans to change the site at this point," McCausland said.
Investigators searching for a link between Marshall and the murdered Americans discovered that the young Canadian had entered his name on the sex offender registry in order to get more information, including the street addresses of the victims.

Despite the possible break in the case, police still have more questions than answers about what might connect Marshall to the murdered men.
Marshall's father, Ralph Marshall, told reporters Monday that his son didn't appear troubled and never said he had been sexually abused.
"Right now, everything seems to be about speculation," he said.

Most of the answers may have died with Marshall, who shot himself in the head when cornered by police on a bus outside Boston on Sunday. A laptop computer was found with his body.
The bodies of the victims in the puzzling double-murder-suicide were found in their homes about 40 kilometres apart in towns in Maine.
Marshall, of North Sydney, N.S., was named as "a person of interest" in the deaths of Joseph Gray, 57, of Milo, Me., and William Elliott, 24, of Corinth, Me.
The names and addresses of the victims were on the online registry until state authorities suspended access to the site after the killings.
Gray's name was posted on the state registry because he had moved to Maine after he was convicted in Massachusetts of sexually assaulting a child under 14. Elliott's conviction was for having sex with a girl under the legal age.
Marshall was last seen in Cape Breton on Thursday.
Police in Maine said a witness saw him leave the second shooting scene in Corinth in a white pickup Sunday morning, about five hours after the first shooting in Milo was reported.
The truck, which belonged to Marshall's father, was later found abandoned near an arena in Bangor, Me.
After a 12-hour manhunt that stretched through three states, police pulled over a bus from Bangor as it approached Boston at 7:25 p.m. EDT.
As officers climbed aboard, Marshall was 13 rows behind the driver in a window seat. He pulled out a .45-calibre handgun and shot himself in the head, said David Procopio, spokesman for the Suffolk County district attorney.

When paramedics arrived, they found a second handgun in Marshall's possession.
Marshall died at 11:24 p.m. at Boston Medical Center.
In North Sydney, no one answered the door Monday at a weathered, two-storey wooden home where the young man lived.
Two doors doors down, George and Eileen Forrest said the house seemed to have an ever- changing parade of young tenants.
"No one bothers you around here - it's a quiet spot," Eileen Forrest said. "But now I'll never go and leave my door open again. Not as long as I live."
Marshall's former employer described him as a good worker who kept to himself.
"He was a friendly kid, he was quiet, not someone you'd think would be twisted up in something like this," said Charlie MacArthur, assistant manager of the Chinese restaurant where Marshall had worked for about a year.
MacArthur said it was out of character for Marshall to miss his shift on Saturday. Then, on Monday, MacArthur recognized Marshall's picture on a morning television newscast.
"It was the same as everybody else - in shock, hard to believe," said MacArthur.
Police in Cape Breton said Marshall had moved out of his mother's home in Little Bras d'Or about a year ago.
Marshall's mother told police her son once lived with his father and it wasn't unusual for Marshall to visit him in Maine.
"From what we can gather, he was down there previously - he lived with his dad for a while years ago," said Const. Max Sehl of Cape Breton Regional Police in North Sydney.
"When the officers went and spoke with his mom, she wasn't startled with the fact that he was there, just startled with . . . what he may have been involved in."
The fact that Cape Breton police believe Marshall had visited his father before contradicts information released by authorities in Maine.
U.S. authorities said Marshall travelled to Houlton, Me., for the first time to meet his father. They also believe he took three firearms from his father - two handguns and a rifle. Police had yet to find the rifle.
Maine's sex offender registry, which went online in December 2003, has the names, pictures and addresses of more than 2,200 people.
Jack King of the National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers in Washington said revealing the addresses of sex offenders can be an invitation to violence.
"There are going to be crazy people out there," King told Associated Press. "And there's going to be vigilantism."
© The Canadian Press, 2006


Aren't we being neighbourly-like. We're even going south to kill the american pedophiles. It's really weird that he kills himself. It would be very interesting if the authorities got the chance to try him in court. Esspecially if it's by jury. Who's going to convict a killer who kills pedophiles? Not me. I'll gladly accept a plea of insanity. You don't even have to explain yourself.
One problem I do have. What's a Canadian doing killing the american pedophiles? We got pedophiles in Canada too. Kill ours first. Let the americans fix their own problem. They got more then enough guns to do it.
I guess your ARE innocent until proven guilty. But why would you kill yourself if you're innocent?

Babya Majora

Jessica Alba is a major babe. Oh what I wouldn't do. I'd sell my soul to the devil. God damn she's HOT!

Canada's Ames blows field away at Players Championship

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, Fla. (AP) - An embarrassing loss to Tiger Woods is in the past. A trip to the Masters might not be in his future.
All that mattered to Calgary's Stephen Ames was playing the best round of his life to overwhelm the best players in golf Sunday in The Players Championship.
A month after making fun of Woods, Ames won like him.
He hit impeccable iron shots to build a big lead on the treacherous TPC at Sawgrass, then let everyone collapse in a series of wrecks around him. When he had fired at his last flag, Ames had a 5-under 67 - the best round of a demanding final round - and won by six shots over two-time U.S. Open champion Retief Goosen.
"This is big," Ames said. "This is characterized as the fifth major. I beat the top players in the world."

He finished at 14-under 274, earned $1.44 million US from the richest purse on the PGA Tour, and earned an unlikely trip to the Masters in two weeks.
Whether he goes remains to be seen.
Ames' wife, Jodi, is recovering from lung cancer. His sons, ages nine and six, are starting their two-week spring break and Ames has a vacation planned in Trinidad, the country where he was born.

"I had no plans of playing at Augusta," he said. "My priorities have always been family first. If it comes down to that, it's probably going to be a two-week vacation. . . . I'd rather go on vacation, to be truthful."
The way he played on a sun-baked afternoon on Sawgrass, he might be a force at the Masters.
It was the second-toughest Sunday at The Players Championship, yet Ames made it feel like a practice round. He showed no nerves and said he felt none. His 67 from the final group was the best score by two shots.
The only blip was a double bogey on the 10th hole, when mud on his ball caused his approach to plug into a bunker, and it took him two shots to get out. His lead was cut in half to two strokes, and with the terror of the back nine awaiting, it was set up for another dramatic finish.
Instead, Ames poured it on with magnificent shots, starting with a three-iron into 15 feet on the par-5 11th to set up a two-putt birdie. Then came an eight-iron on the par-3 13th that caught the ridge and rolled to two feet for birdie. He took only 12 putts on the back nine, including a 25-footer for eagle from just off the green at No. 16.
"I think I did that this week, put myself in another gear," Ames said. "It was a matter of seeing the shot and hitting the shot and not worrying about it because . . . nobody was close to me to worry about it."
Ames has seen that kind of golf before.
He faced Woods in the first round of the Match Play Championship, and riled him by saying that anything could happen, "especially where he's hitting the ball." Woods turned it into the shortest match in 18-hole history, 9 and 8, a score that became Ames' nickname the last month.
No more.
He's now The Players champion, with a performance his peers won't soon forget.

"What am I going to do, sit down and cry about it?" Ames said of that loss. "He's the No. 1 player in the world, and he played exceptionally well for . . . was it nine or 10 holes? That was it."
Woods was never part of the equation. He twice made double bogey from the fairway and shot 75 to tie for 22nd, 15 shots out of the lead.
"That's golf," Woods said. "Each week is so different. Stephen didn't really play all that well when he played against me in the Match Play. The great thing about this game is it starts over the very next week."
Mike Weir of Bright's Grove, Ont., struggled to a 79 and finished in a tie for 22nd.
He was like almost all those who had a chance to win The Players Championship.
Ames played with Vijay Singh, who shot 41 on the front, didn't make a birdie until the 11th hole and finished with a 77.
In front of him was Weir and Sergio Garcia, whose three-putt bogey and double bogey into the water led to a 78. Ernie Els got within three shots of the lead until he found water on the 16th and 17th holes and settled for a 71.
"It was pretty close at one stage, but he played awesome," Goosen said. "He ran away with it at the end. We all probably thought 9 under would be a good score."
Ames could have played it safe. Instead, he played without fear.
He made a 10-foot birdie putt on the 15th, where the hole was tucked on the left side. From the first cut of rough on the par-5 16th, he went after the flag and narrowly cleared a bunker by the lake to set up his eagle. The only conservative play came on the par-3 17th with the island green. Ames went for the middle of the green, found land, and two-putted for par.
With a six-shot lead playing the final hole, Ames lived up to his name.
He took dead aim.
"Oh, you just had to go at it, didn't you?" Robert Ames, his brother and caddie, teased him.
Colombian rookie Camilo Villegas, who got into the tournament when Chris DiMarco withdrew, nearly made it into the Masters. He closed with a 71 and finished in a four-way tie for third at 283 to earn $384,000. He moved up to 11th on the money list - only the top 10 are eligible for the Masters - coming up $94,971 short.
"I gave it my best, and it looks like it's not going to happen," Villegas said. "Hopefully, there will be plenty of Masters for me in the future."
Ames said he has no beef with the Masters - he tied for 45th in his debut last year - but had his heart set on spending two weeks with his family. His wife had half a lung removed in July after the British Open, but Ames said she is recovering well and can walk up a flight of stairs before stopping to catch her breath.
That was another area where he could relate with Woods, who left The Players Championship the day before it started to check on his cancer-stricken father in California.
"It's hard to focus and play golf. It's next to impossible," Ames said. "When I was playing the British Open last year, I'm standing over every shot going, 'What am I doing with this golf ball?' I was in a distant zone."
He was in another zone at Sawgrass, one that carried him to a six-shot victory and gave him a three-year exemption to the Masters, and a five-year exemption on the PGA Tour.
© The Canadian Press, 2006